Thirty sure didn't start out looking like it was going to be any good. It started out with a heady dose of female relational aggression that made daytime TV look bland. Saying it was harsh, would be a lie. It felt like my guts were ripped out, rearranged and put back inside my body in a way that didn't lend it self to normal functions like eating, breathing & sleeping. It turned my world into a place I suddenly didn't have a place in. Well, the good thing about this kind of pain and displacement was that it turned out to be just what I needed to actually be able to see and work on my own personal flaws. It was humbling and caused me to seek forgiveness for the ugly things I've done and resolve to be different.
{{Still - not now and not likely ever perfect, but better than I was!}}
Being at the end of this year and close to the start of the next year of my life, it's easier to see the pain of what happened as the tool that, through His grace and love for me, God used to refine my heart and open my eyes.
- I have the freedom not to worry about what other people think about me. He knows me & that's enough. Other people will think what they want to anyhow.
- I have the ability to face the fears of my twenties with an open heart & relax in knowing who's in control. {{Not me, not them, but He! God, fyi.}}
- My view of others isn't what matters either. We all have issues!
- It's okay to protect me and mine!
- I have a gift and I'm being given the perfect chances to use it.
Enough self-affirmation for tonight. It's almost time to get my aging bootie downstairs so I can begin my nightly beauty regimen. Acting 30' something , not trying to look it!
XOXOXXO
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